


Godspeed

by Shontara



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, Platonic Relationships, Two sad people try and help each other not be as sad, ignore the six months later scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25331665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shontara/pseuds/Shontara
Summary: Nile can't see it.  She doesn't see the love her family has for her and she needs to be reminded.Excerpt:“What do you need, Nile?”  Nicky asks.  His voice is heavy and sincere.Nile is still for a moment as she looks back at Booker and then answers Nicky.“I just need one night Nicky, I just need one night.”  Nile’s eyes sting, and she turns her back to Booker as she lays out her needs to Nicky. How could she explain to someone who has loved her since he first dreamed of her that she was unhappy?  How could she tell him that as much as she loved him, she doesn’t think that he would understand the weight of loneliness that sits on her chest?
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Nile Freeman
Comments: 39
Kudos: 357





	Godspeed

**Author's Note:**

> I loved The Old Guard and I love the relationships that the found family had. Personally I wanted to see a little more of the goodbye from Nile to Booker. Other than Andy he was the one that spent the most time with her. 
> 
> This story is platonic, but it is full of physical affection from two hurt people who love each other.
> 
> The title comes from the Frank Ocean song of the same name

She misses Booker. She misses having someone who would let her be sad or angry or scared. She misses having someone understand. Andy and Joe and Nicky have had a thousand years together; Andy more than that wandering the world with Lykon and Quynh. They’ve seen it all and lived it all, and they did it together. 

Booker was young. 

Well, younger than them anyway. 200 compared to a few millennia seemed like no time at all. He got it. 

They didn’t. 

Andy couldn’t remember her mother or her sisters, Joe and Nicky have had each other for a thousand years. But Booker still remembered how his sons died, how they hated him. He told her once “ _Just because we keep on living, doesn’t mean we stop hurting._ ” And sometimes when she looks at the three of them Joe and Nicky and Andy, she can’t find exactly where she fits. In her life before she was a daughter, a sister, a soldier, a marine. Here, in the after she feels like an intruder, always watching from the sidelines. 

They don’t do it on purpose, but everything is an inside joke when you’ve known someone for a thousand years. And it’s not all the time usually, mealtimes are filled with a quiet chatter the four of them discussing their ages after Nile asks a question.

“Did you actually sleep with Rodin?”

“Did you know Shakespeare? What was he like?”

“Did you guys inspire any other artists?”

Joe and Nicky always answer Joe mostly with Nicky smiling soft and sweet. Andy sometimes answers, with Joe popping in to “jazz it up” when he thinks she’s left out an important part, or to set the scene. Nicky will usually start stories and then gets lost and starry-eyed when Joe interjects. The atmosphere can change from joking to intimate at the drop of hat. 

  
  
  
  
  


“I’m gonna go for a walk,” she says to no one. Andy is sleeping, mortals need sleep. She knows this because just a few months ago she was one. Nicky and Joe have retired to their room. They’re staying at a flat in Amsterdam, well Amsterdam adjacent. 

She can’t sleep, because every time she closes her eyes she can feel Quynh dying and reviving. Every time is just as brutal and as hopeless as the last. _We don’t stop hurting_ , the thought is fleeting but devastating. Centuries of pain, _we don’t stop hurting_. The thought chases her onto the street. 

There’s a bite in the air, winter is making herself known. Nile pulls her jacket tighter and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She can’t seem to let go of before. She puts the earbuds in her ears, she tries to get to her playlists as quickly as possible. It hurts to look at her mom and brother on the background of her phone, but it would hurt more to not see them. She lets Frank Ocean croon in her ears as she walks. 

**_I will always love you_ ** **.**

The lyrics are profound more in the after than they were in the before. 

_I miss my mom_. The thought tears through her like a bullet. It stops her in the street. 

**_Let go of a prayer for you_ **

**_Just a sweet word_ **

**_The table is prepared for you_ **

_I miss my brother_. She can’t breathe. His birthday is next week and he thinks she’s dead. It took them years to even smile on birthdays after their father died. Her little brother, who was taller than her, who’s gonna be older than her. Forever twenty-six. She can’t stand anymore.

**_Wishing you godspeed, glory_ **

**_There will be mountains you won't move_ **

She makes a deliberate effort to keep walking. Her eyes are stinging with the tears she doesn’t want to shed and she tries to blink them away. She’s unsuccessful. 

**_Still, I'll always be there for you how I do_ **

**_I let go of my claim on you_ **

Booker was the one that told her what immortality would look like to the people she loves. With separation, her family can heal. She can heal. 

**_It's a free world_ **

**_You look down on where you came from sometimes_ **

**_But you'll have this place to call home always_ **

But she never thought that she would miss home like this, miss Chicago like this, miss sitting in between her mother’s legs while she braided her hair. Who knew you could miss the feeling of your scalp being pulled so tight you can’t bend your neck forward or turn your head. Who knew there was so much love in being poured out through her mother’s fingers only to be absorbed through her scalp and into her soul. 

**_I'll always love you_ **

**_Until the time we die_ **

She’s twenty-six, she’ll always be twenty-six. She thinks she would give it back for one more. God, one more anything. Listening to her mother say her name, or say I love you, or say _I wish you would_ (the way moms do when their eyes get small and their mouths’ get tight). One more day reminding her brother that even though she is shorter she is still his big sister, one more Saturday playing video games, or Sunday morning sermon. 

When you know you can’t die, sometimes you get reckless. She’s pulled her jacket tighter around her body, the song changes, she doesn’t feel him fall into step. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


He glances sideways at her, it’s obvious she’s been crying. He was across the street when he saw her. He was prepared to turn and walk away. 100 years, that was the sentence that sits heavy on his head. It wasn’t her fault, she’s a kid, she defended him as much as she could. He knows in his gut that Nile fought for him. He remembers watching her gesticulate through the window as Joe sat stone-faced. If it wasn’t for the fact that they all loved her so immensely and didn’t want to see her hurt, his sentence would have been worse. He’ll forever be grateful for the sweet girl that fought for him, even after he betrayed her. 

It’s that thought that gives him pause. Then he sees it, she stops cold and does everything in her power to make herself small. He watches her shrink, watches her pull in all of her fight, all of her fire. It takes a moment before she moves again. And even if he did only know her for a week, he knows he loves her. He knows he would protect her with his whole self, even if it means taking fire. 

He remembers his words to her. _Just because we keep on living, doesn’t mean we stop hurting._ She’s so young, he should have eased her into this life better. They should have eased _him_ into this life better. He crosses the street, a light jog to catch up and he’s next to her. Watching her back when she doesn’t have the strength to look up. 

It’s late, and his goal for tonight was to drink until he forgot. Forgot his first family. Forgot his second family. Seeing Nile shrunken on the street he knows he has to do better. At least for tonight, at least for this girl. 

They’re almost to the shithole he’s been staying in. She still hasn’t acknowledged him. He gently grabs her elbow to lead her to his abode. She jumps. She reacts like a soldier, she’s maneuvered out of his grasp and has taken a defensive position before she comes back to herself. 

He gives her a gentle smile and tilts his head in the direction of his flat. 

“Have a drink with me.” He’s not really asking. 

She nods once and falls back into step. 

“So..” He starts. It falls off once he realizes she still hasn’t removed her headphones, and she’s still locked inside herself. 

At this point, she’s just using the slight brushes of his side against hers to lead her in the right direction. He grabs her the bottom of her jacket to get her attention and pulls her into his building. 

He’s on the third floor, they make their way up the stairs with all the silence and agility their years of training has afforded them. He pulls out his keys and opens the door to his flat. 

She tries to reconcile the furniture with the man she knows. None of the pieces match and the refrigerator was lime green. 

“I got it furnished,” he replies to the questioning look Nile sends him. She smiles in response, and at least there’s that. 

Nile takes her earbuds out, “How long have you been here?” She asks quietly, her jacket is still on and she hasn’t come farther than right inside the doorway. 

“A month or so” he sort of huffs out as he removes his jacket and places it on the hook. “Take off your jacket Nile, I’ll make some tea.” He’s already walking deeper into the flat before she starts to move. 

She hangs her coat next to his and follows him. It’s warmer in his flat than outside thank god. He catches her rubbing her arms when he looks at her, he’s put the kettle on. 

“When you said drink, I thought you meant something stronger than tea.” She’s not whispering but her voice is quieter than usual. 

“I’m trying to cut back.” He says he’s foraging through the cabinets for mugs and tea before turning back and placing them on the table next to them. 

“I’m sure your liver thanks you,” she says with a tiny smile. Her eyes show more than the devastating loss he saw when they were on the street. 

“It could use a break.” He’s smiling now, he missed her. He misses them, his family. He misses the easy affection his family offered. He misses home. 

She takes him in. His face is scruffier, but otherwise the same. His eyes are still sad, even if his mouth is smiling. And she realizes that she missed him more than she thought. She steps into his space and wraps her arms around him. She lets out a deep sigh. 

“I miss you,” she says into his shoulder after he returns the hug. She means it with her whole chest. She misses him actively, even now in his kitchen while he makes tea for them, she misses him. 

Nile is different from the last time he saw her just a few months ago. Her hair is different now. It’s in long braids, they fall down her back. Each braid sequestered to its own box, she looks less deadly and more like the university student she should be. He brings his hand to cup the back of her head and turns his face to give a kiss to her temple. Beautiful Nile, with the too soft heart. He can tell she’s learned more about the world and their place in it by the way her eyes looked on the street. He wishes he could have asked Nicky to help keep her soft. Nicolo di Genova who is still gentle after a thousand years, partially because of his love for Joe but also in part to his faith. He had hoped that that would have transferred onto Nile. He squeezes her tighter for a second before pulling away with his arms on her shoulders and smiles. 

“ _Tu m'as manqué_ ” He says it in French, and his whole body displays it. His eyes are softer and his shoulders loose. He pulls her back in and she locks hands behind his back and turns her face into his shoulder again. His hands go up and down her back and he feels her chest shudder. He can feel tears soak through his sweater. They cling to each other until the pot whistles. 

He pours the water into their mugs and grabs the cream and sugar. They sit on opposite sides of the table facing each other and prepare their drinks. He pours a splash of whiskey in his, and Nile laughs. Booker smiles back while bringing the cup to his mouth. 

“What are you doing here?” Booker asks in that quiet way that he does.

“Downtime between missions.” Nile shrugs.

“You know that’s not what I meant. Why were you walking around Utrecht in the middle of the night crying?” Booker asks, his face becoming more serious as Nile dodges the question. 

Nile is quiet as she glances at her drink, creamy brown and super sweet, just like she likes her hot tea. She is immediately thrust into a memory from the summer before she deployed for the last time. 

_Her grandmother was visiting and Nile begged her to make a pitcher of sweet tea. “No one makes tea like you Honey” she remembers buttering her up with the name that she’s called her grandmother since before she can remember. Nile was fully going to take advantage of the fact that she was leaving and her family wanted to spoil her before she was gone._

_“You’re workin’ my nerves, girl!” Honey sighed even as she started towards the kitchen to make her granddaughter iced tea. “You are lucky I love you” Honey’s voice was lightly accented from growing up in Virginia before she settled in Chicago with her husband._

_“Thank you Honey girl!” Nile laughs as she squeezes her grandmother plops a kiss on her cheek._

_“Smart-ass” Honey swats her away so that she can get started on Nile’s request._

“I miss home,” Nile states plainly. “And I’m learning to deal with the family I have now, but sometimes…” She trails off. Nile looks at Booker, he’s looking at her waiting for her to finish her thought. “Sometimes, I feel like they don’t have room for me.” She takes a sip of her tea just to do something with her hands. 

“Nile, they have room for you. _We_ have room for you.” Booker says it as he reaches across the table to grab her hand. “The night we dreamed of you, we made room. We chose to go and find you, and then you chose to come and save us.” He lets out a derisive chuckle, “ _Chérie_ , can’t you see how much we love you, how much _they_ love you?” 

Nile sits quietly with the words Booker let out bounce around in her head as she tries to absorb the truth of them. And then she is crying again, she’s never cried this much in the before, but right now she can’t seem to stop. Booker stands her up and they walk to his living room area and settle on the couch side by side. She curls into herself and then leans into Booker, taking as much strength as he can offer. 

“I know you miss your mother Nile, but a clean break will help.” He’s got both arms around her now and her face is in his chest as she grips his sweater so tightly she knows it's done for. 

“You didn’t have a clean break.” It’s vicious and out of her mouth before she can stop it. She feels the words land from her position on his chest. She can feel the sharp intake of air, and she regrets the sentence she just uttered. She regrets the ways she lashed out at someone that has offered her safe place land in this storm that is immortality. 

“You’re right,” Booker says simply. “I didn’t have a clean break, and my son died hating me and I am 200 years old and alone because I couldn’t let go of that last conversation of ours.” 

“That was unfair of me,” Nile apologizes. 

“I know how to take a hit Nile.” Booker says it so simply she wants to believe that it didn’t cut the way she knows it did.

“A kick in the chest will hurt just as much the second time as it did the first, and you didn’t deserve that.” Nile leans back and looks him in the eyes as she tells him. She pulls away a little, her knees in her chest she leans against the back of the couch and stares at the ceiling. 

Booker looks at her profile. It seems like she is pulling herself back into her body. She sits quietly, still staring at the ceiling. 

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Nile whispers. “I want you to come home, you need your family” She’s still whispering but now she’s looking Booker in his eyes and he is reminded of how young she truly is. 

“I fucked up.” He starts, but Booker can barely finish the sentence before Nile interjects. 

“So what!” Nile is upset. “We’ve all fucked up!” She’s moving her arms erratically and she’s about to launch herself off the couch.

“Not like I did,” Booker says as he reaches to cup her face with his hands. His thumbs glide gracefully over the apples of her cheeks. “You’ll see, with our family the century will pass in no time.” 

“But you’ll be alone” It breaks Booker’s heart to hear her say it. To see that truth spread out over her face. 

  
  
  
  
  


Nile’s burner dings in her pocket with a message. 

Andy: _Where are you????_

Nile looks at it, and then at Booker. She feels caught between 2 camps, Booker on one side and everyone else on the other. Booker gently takes the phone from her hands and pulls up Andy’s contact page to make a call and hands Nile back her phone as the line is ringing. Nile stands and begins to pace, Andy answers abruptly.

“Where the hell are you Nile?” Andy doesn’t usually yell, and she isn’t now. However, even only being with them for a short while, Nile can hear the undercurrent of worry in her voice. Nile almost wants to smile at her concern, she can hear Joe and Nicky in the background, both speaking a rapid-fire combination of English and Italian. They’ve been teaching her but she can’t get all of what they are saying. 

“I’m sorry, I just needed to clear my head.” Nile looks away from Booker as Andy lays into her about disappearing in strange cities. She swears that she has had this exact conversation with her mother, in the before. She’s got a soft smile and she’s only paying a quarter of attention to her surroundings when Booker stands and plucks the phone from her hand. 

“Andy,” he cuts her off with his gravelly voice. “She’s with me, Nile is fine.” Nile is close enough to Booker to hear Joe’s response to that statement. Granted, she could have been in another room, in another building and would have heard Joe’s fury. 

“Joe,” Booker starts. Bringing his hand to his face, he wipes a hand down in exhaustion. Joe never stops his tirade. He hands the phone back to Nile. “Sorry about that,” Booker smirks.

Nile rolls her eyes as she takes the phone back. It seems like Joe hasn’t even taken a breath yet and she locks eyes with Booker. 

“Joe, let me talk to Nicky,” Nile says as she’s still looking at Booker. He seems to think the fact that Joe hasn’t taken a breath in the last three minutes is vaguely amusing. Joe stops speaking abruptly. 

“Are you serious?” He asks after a minute of silence. 

“Please, Joe?” Nile sighs into the phone.

“Nile,” Nicky says with his soft Italian lilt. “What’s wrong, when did you find Booker, where are you?” He asks his questions like a machine gun and Nile has no time to answer. 

“We ran into each other tonight, while I was on my walk.” She breaks eye contact with Booker, she needs to ask him a favor but she is afraid to look at him. It’s kind of a big ask. 

“I just wanted to clear my head,” Nile is fidgeting nervously. Booker has taken to leaning against the door frame as he watches her. 

“What do you need, Nile?” Nicky asks. His voice is heavy and sincere.

Nile is still for a moment as she looks back at Booker and then answers Nicky.

“I just need one night Nicky, I just need one night.” Nile’s eyes sting, and she turns her back to Booker as she lays out her needs to Nicky. How could she explain to someone who has loved her since he first dreamed of her that she was unhappy? How could she tell him that as much as she loved him, she doesn’t think that he would understand the weight of loneliness that sits on her chest? 

This time Nicky is quiet before he responds. 

“Alright, I’ll let them know that we will see you in the morning. I’ll have Joe make breakfast for all of us once you get home.” His voice is soft and gentle, and Nile knows Joe is standing right next to him.

“Thank you, Nicky, I’ll see you in the morning.” She tells him so that he can relay the message to the other two who are a little more hotheaded. “I love you” Nile tacks on, because she wants them to know. 

She can hear Nicky’s smile when he says it back. 

She turns to face Booker, “Can I stay here tonight?” The question is rushed, but Booker is unfazed as he stands to his full height to look at her. 

“Of course,” He says it so simply and Nile had no idea why she was nervous about asking. 

  
  
  
  


Booker points in the direction of his bedroom. “Bed’s through there,” he says as he turns and motions in the other direction. “The washroom is through there.” 

Nile is still standing frozen in the middle of the room with her arms wrapped around herself. Booker steps into her space and places his hands on her shoulders, and leads her to the bedroom first. 

“You can sleep here, I’ll take the couch” 

Booker has turned and is on his way back to the couch when he hears her.

“I don’t really want to be alone,” Nile admits. “I guess I just needed someone to talk to that wasn’t them.” She still has her arms wrapped around herself when she makes eye contact with Booker. 

Booker places a hand on her shoulder “Be patient with them,” he says as he’s walking away. 

Nile walks into the bedroom and closes the door partially, she takes off her boots and sweater. She lays down in her jeans and camisole, turns her back to the door, and curls her body into itself, and drifts to sleep almost immediately. 

Booker has been a soldier since 1812, and although he cannot die he is always alert even when he’s half asleep and mostly safe. 

He remembers her whimpers from their first night, and he is up and moving at the sound of them now before he is even fully awake. Booker pushes lightly on the door and sees Nile. She’s sweating and her hands are gripping the pillows and sheets in a vice. He makes his way over to her and kneels so that he is eye level. 

“Nile.” He tries softly at first, not wanting to scare her anymore. She’s still locked in her head. He runs his hand over her forehead and cheek and says her name again. 

Nile startles awake. Sitting up she can’t breathe, she can’t breathe because she still feels Quynh’s struggling to take a breath herself. She feels her own lungs filling with water and Quynh screams to death at the bottom of the abyss. Nile is gasping like she is drowning and she struggles against the grounding hand Booker has on her face. 

Booker sees it, she’s not there yet. She is still at the bottom of the ocean, her eyes show only fear and no recognition. Nile begins to hyperventilate, she’s breathing too heavy too fast. And she still can’t see him. He puts his face in hers and looks directly into her eyes.

“Nile!” He says it sharp enough to grab her attention, but her breathing is still erratic. “Breathe with me Nile,” he takes a breath in and holds and watches as she does the same. He audibly exhales, holding up his hands and counts to 10. He does this a few more times until Nile’s breathing has begun to regulate. 

“You were dreaming about Quynh.” 

Nile nods her head. “I see her every time I go to sleep.” She scoots back to the top of the bed so that she can lean against the headboard. “I feel her pounding, and kicking, and screaming, and dying every time,” Nile admits to him. She stopped telling the others about it because she can’t bear to break their hearts the way that she knows this does. But Booker didn’t know Quynh, and his heart won’t break under the weight of 500 years of broken promises he didn’t make. 

He’s leaning back now, not as close as he was to her but his hand is on her wrist and he is counting out her heart rate in his head. “You’re here and you’re safe.” He reassures her. Her breathing is better and her heart rate is settling. 

Nile slips her wrist from his grasp and moves over on the bed to make room for him. 

“Stay with me,” she asks. “Please?” Nile isn’t used to being the person that needs rescuing. That needs someone else’s shoulder to cry on. After her father died, she did everything she could to ease her mother’s burdens. There were nights when her little brother would sneak into her room and weep until he fell asleep and she would sit and rock him, and reassure him that he would always have her. _She lied._

Booker climbs into the bed next to her and they both lay down facing each other. 

“When does it stop?” Nile asks. Her tears are falling from one eye into the other and down the side of her face. 

“The dreams will become less vivid the longer you're with them, and they will become easier for you to handle when they do,” Booker tells her. “But it will take a while, a few years at least” He whispers it to her, hoping that if he says it softly the truth of it will land quietly. He doesn’t think that the soft delivery helped when he watches Nile close her eyes, defeated. 

Nile drags a breath in, and it rattles her whole body. She opens her eyes to look at Booker. “I understand why you did it Book.” She states simply. Living for 200 years is hard, living for that long with someone else’s pain making room for itself among your own ghosts must be horrible. 

“No Nile, I was wrong. I was selfish, and I hurt people that I love fiercely.” His eyes are hard with his delivery. “You’re so young.” He murmurs. He turns to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling. “I regret betraying Andy. I regret betraying Nicky and Joe and you.” 

One of Booker’s hands is lying next to Nile and she grabs it with her hand and laces their fingers together. 

“You never betrayed me Book,” Nile says it in a way that is so full of sincerity it breaks Booker’s heart all over again, he closes his eyes. “You didn’t even know me.” Nile continues, ignorant of the devastation she unwittingly caused him.

“Still,” he says “I knew how recruiting works, even if I was the last one found. And that would have hurt you, being all alone.” He opens his eyes and turns back to her. 

“I am sorry. I’m sorry I hurt my family, I’m so sorry” Booker closes his eyes again and his words trail off into a repetitive mumble as he apologizes over and over again. In english and french and italian, he veers into german and greek.

“Booker!” Nile cuts through his haze of grief. She put the hand not laced with his on the side of his face. She waits until he opens his eyes before she continues. 

“I forgive you Book.” She makes sure the words are clear and full of intent. “I. forgive. you. Booker.” Nile repeats, she needs him to know that undeniable truth. 

Booker doesn’t try to stop the tears that start streaming down his face. 

They are quiet again, and the peace of the moment allows them to fall back into a light slumber. 

  
  
  


Booker wakes first, his eyes see her smooth brown skin in the weak morning light and he doesn’t want to move. He knows that she goes where he can’t follow, she gets to wake up and go home and his heart hurts. 

He rolls over and sits at the edge of the bed. He rubs his face as he contemplates saying goodbye to his family for the next century. 

“What time is it?” Nile’s voice is thick with sleep as she asks her question.

“7:30” Booker replies as he stands up. “I’m gonna put the kettle on.” He says on the way out of the bedroom.

Nile sits up and pulls her knees to her chest for a minute. She lets the conversation from last night wash over her. Nile stands and walks to the bathroom. This overnight visit was unplanned and she doesn’t have anything else to wear except what she came in. She flushes and stands to look into the mirror. She washes her hands and her face, and she thinks that she sees a little of the Nile Freeman her mom raised staring back at her. 

She walks to the kitchen area and the teacups are set out again, but this time her drink is already prepared. She grabs the cup with both hands, takes a sip, and smiles. “Perfect” 

Booker smiles, “I’m glad you like it, I have no idea how you drink anything that sweet” He’s shaking his head as he brings his coffee to his lips. “Do you want to grab breakfast?” Booker asks after he swallows his drink. 

Nile’s smile loses some of its shine. “I told Nicky I’d be home soon, and Joe is making breakfast for me.” She looks away as she tells him her plans, she doesn’t want to hurt him

Booker waves it off, “Alright then whenever you’re ready I’ll walk you back.” 

Nile finishes her tea quietly and stands to retrieve her boots and sweater. She dresses in the bedroom and stands up after she’s finished tying her shoes. _I miss my regulation boots_ , the thought flits through her head in a nanosecond. Fear and adrenaline can lead to some decisions that aren’t always the best ones available. 

When she walks back into the living room Booker stands from the couch, ready to go. They walk to the door and he waits as Nile puts her jacket on and checks that she has both of her phones. 

Booker steps in front of the door and gazes at her for a full minute before he speaks. His clear green eyes lock onto her dark brown ones. 

“I know it feels like you're all alone sometimes being the newest member, but if you take nothing else away from the last 13 hours know this. We love you.” Booker’s hands cup her face again. “Sometimes they will get lost in themselves, but they still love you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.” 

Nile nods her head, her eyes swimming with tears. Booker gives a small smile and turns to open the door.

They’re both quiet as Booker leads them to where he saw her last night. Hands stuffed in pockets, they are in their own little worlds. They pass the place where he first saw her, he knows where the safehouse is and he doesn’t want to give up this last piece of his family quite so quickly. 

He walks with Nile until they are across the street from the safe house. He can see Joe in the window, his face is stone. He says something to the other occupants of the house and Nicky and Andy join him at the window. He sees Nile look up and to the window and give a small wave. She turns to him and there is a fire in her eyes and steel in her spine when she looks at him. Here she is, the Nile that stormed the castle all by herself

“Book,” Nile starts, “I’ve had to give everyone else in my family up. I refuse to give you up too.” She presses a piece of paper into his hands. “Call me. Whatsapp me. Just don’t disappear on me.” 

Booker agrees because, how could he not. “Of course” 

Nile was always one of the tall girls, and everyone in her family from before was tall except her mom. She appreciates her height now, looking Booker in the eye. She means what she said, it hurt having to cleave her first family from her life so swiftly she’s not gonna do it with her new family. He opens his arms and she attaches herself to him immediately. Booker places one of his hands on the back of her head and runs the other up and down her back. 

“We’re not meant to be alone, Book.” They end their hug, and she looks at him again. “I love you, Booker, remember that.” She steps out of his embrace as Andy comes up behind her. 

Andy grabs one of her braids and looks at her, a small smile on her face because of course, she understands exactly what Nile needed. Nile walks into the safehouse and Andy stays behind to talk to Booker. 

She sheds her shoes and her jacket and comes to stand next to Joe at the stove. Joe gives her a soft smile, nothing like the look he leveled at Booker. He’s sautéing vegetables, and she doesn’t know what he’s making exactly but she trusts Joe implicitly. 

“Did you get what you needed?” Nicky asks as he comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her shoulders. 

She nods her head and leans into him. She really did. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first time I've posted to AO3 ever and the first time I've written a story in a while. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!!


End file.
